I personally believe the Coyotes will move to Houston (unless somehow they manage to secure a normal stadium). The NHL has exhausted a lot of time in trying to keep them there but I just don’t see them staying there. This of course some dude with a lot of money approaches the NHL with a lot of money for X city and has a stadium that can work with the NHL.
MacGruber204
Salt Lake City
Booftroop
I’d probably keep the Hurricanes in Raleigh, not move them to Charlotte.
SometimesRunning
Blue Jackets out of Columbus, move to Cincinnati.
mas4evar
I would put all the teams in Arizona
dkelley824
Something in New Orleans would fit the hockey culture. We could call them the South Quebec Beignets.
Proper_Warhawk
No team in Wisconsin? Booooo
Clark828
Well this map shows Carolina in Charlotte so I’d put them back in Raleigh.
Football-Remote
For the love of all things holy, put a fucking team in Kansas City
elcabeza79
Weird giving OR 5 teams, especially with 4 of those being in TX and FL.
shockley21
I haven’t seen anyone else mention it (which is surprising) but Florida does not need two hockey teams. Frankly, they don’t need three Football teams either. New Orleans or Maine would be interesting
Chewie_i
Removing Vegas is peak Reddit hockey fan behavior
BuyAllTheTaquitos
Starting from scratch so no history is involved, I’d go with largest markets first (>4M). New York x2, LA, outside of LA, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, DC, Philly, Atlanta, Miami, Phoenix, Boston, San Francisco/Oakland, Detroit, and Seattle. That would give 16 teams in the 15 largest metro areas in the US (Inland California would partially be captured).
Next would be the largest Canadian markets with Toronto x2 (or Hamilton), Montreal, and Vancouver. 20 of 32 are accounted for.
The next areas would be looking for areas with hockey/winter culture that are large enough to support a team even when they suck. Edmonton, Calgary, Minneapolis, Ottawa, Denver. 25/32
Move on to larger regions that don’t have a team already – St Louis or Kansas City, Orlando or Tampa, Pittsburgh/Cleveland/Columbus/Cincinnati (would go with Pittsburgh due to no NBA or MLS team to contend with). 28/32
Then to markets that are growing and 4+ hour drive to nearest team – Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Charlotte/Raleigh. 31/32
Last franchise would go to one of Nashville, Memphis, Portland, San Antonio/Austin with a lean towards Nashville due to Houston and Dallas covering enough of the San Antonio/Austin area.
Adds: Salt Lake City, Atlanta, Houston, 2nd Toronto team
Drops: Winnipeg (market size), Columbus (could easily swap with SLC but Ohio as a state is overloaded with pro sports and colleges relative to geographic size), Buffalo (2nd team outside of Toronto takes precedent over a team in Buffalo), only 2 teams in New York City area instead of 3
ILikeLiftingMachines
Yes, but can you tweak the map so that nobody in the US and Canada can watch any game due to blackouts?
Western_Pop2233
Put two more teams in Ontario.
(Yes, it would grow the game.)
United_States_of_Cuh
Consider this post the message smeared in blood on the wall, do not scroll on this comment thread unless you wish to see some of the most abysmal takes in all of the realms
redbeard8989
Indianapolis and Windsor are the only two I could see having gotten teams.
lardlad71
No Hartford Whalers, I’m out.
SomeJerkOddball
I’m going to resist being a total Canadian knob and just spout off 32 Canadian cities. 😛
What I will say though is that ***it is beyond criminal to have 1 NHL hockey team in Southwestern Ontario.*** You could ***easily easily easily*** have a second team in Toronto proper and another in Mississauga. And probably chip a team into Hamilton and even London if you squint hard enough.
Montreal is also big enough to support 2 teams and I doubt QC is any less viable than many US locales.
I actually don’t think that league growth should be a zero-sum game and that we shouldn’t be forced to subtract to grow. I do think we would need a second league tier and promotion and relegation to support that, but as the league moves beyond 32, it gets a little silly to try to have every team playing one another and ranked against one another anyway. Either you accept promotion and relegation or the likelihood that the league will become highly regionalized in the future. To the point where you might even end up with separate Eastern and Western Leagues that only meet in the playoffs.
Add 8 teams, break the league into 2 tiers of 20 teams with 4 divisions of 10 teams. 5 teams in tier 1, 5 teams in tier 2 with one team promoted and one team relegated within each division every year. 4-up 4-down and you keep the league divisionally balanced. And in the future all new entrant teams join into the lower tier. With the league rebalancing between tiers as the number of teams rise. When you hit 64 teams, repeat the process with a 3rd tier.
You probably have to blow up the draft and bunch of other stuff to make that work, but I think that the dynamism would make the whole league more fun to follow. You also get to punish recalcitrant losers like Arizona and give the Québecs and Hartfords of the world the chance to put their money where their mouth is by starting in a lower tier. And why not shorten the regular season to throw in some FA cup style intra-divisonal play too. Every New Year’s we could be treated to the divisional cups where tier 1 & 2 teams face off against all of their rivals within the same division to keep rivalries stoked even in the case of relegations.
DrakesOnlyNewFriend
West coast teams can buzz off with their 9pm starts. Sorry.
the-Russian-spy23
I would put all of the teams in California in Alaska because hockey doesn’t belong in California
Spocks-Nephew
I’d put a franchise in Saskatchewan and call it the Dog River River Dogs.
thegodfaubel
There’d probably be one in Wisconsin. Whether it’s Milwaukee or Madison, there’d be one.
_6siXty6_
I’d be sure that Hartford, Quebec City, Salt LakebCity and potentially Houston got teams. It’d be a shitty money pit, but I’d explore NOLA getting a team as well. They’d be called Voodoo.
Unfunky-UAP
You have 34 locations in your picture.
jabberwox
Not the damned desert, that’s for sure.
SaMemeM
I would create a rule where every player has a mic and must narrate what they’re doing while they do it
27 Comments
I personally believe the Coyotes will move to Houston (unless somehow they manage to secure a normal stadium). The NHL has exhausted a lot of time in trying to keep them there but I just don’t see them staying there. This of course some dude with a lot of money approaches the NHL with a lot of money for X city and has a stadium that can work with the NHL.
Salt Lake City
I’d probably keep the Hurricanes in Raleigh, not move them to Charlotte.
Blue Jackets out of Columbus, move to Cincinnati.
I would put all the teams in Arizona
Something in New Orleans would fit the hockey culture. We could call them the South Quebec Beignets.
No team in Wisconsin? Booooo
Well this map shows Carolina in Charlotte so I’d put them back in Raleigh.
For the love of all things holy, put a fucking team in Kansas City
Weird giving OR 5 teams, especially with 4 of those being in TX and FL.
I haven’t seen anyone else mention it (which is surprising) but Florida does not need two hockey teams. Frankly, they don’t need three Football teams either. New Orleans or Maine would be interesting
Removing Vegas is peak Reddit hockey fan behavior
Starting from scratch so no history is involved, I’d go with largest markets first (>4M). New York x2, LA, outside of LA, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, DC, Philly, Atlanta, Miami, Phoenix, Boston, San Francisco/Oakland, Detroit, and Seattle. That would give 16 teams in the 15 largest metro areas in the US (Inland California would partially be captured).
Next would be the largest Canadian markets with Toronto x2 (or Hamilton), Montreal, and Vancouver. 20 of 32 are accounted for.
The next areas would be looking for areas with hockey/winter culture that are large enough to support a team even when they suck. Edmonton, Calgary, Minneapolis, Ottawa, Denver. 25/32
Move on to larger regions that don’t have a team already – St Louis or Kansas City, Orlando or Tampa, Pittsburgh/Cleveland/Columbus/Cincinnati (would go with Pittsburgh due to no NBA or MLS team to contend with). 28/32
Then to markets that are growing and 4+ hour drive to nearest team – Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Charlotte/Raleigh. 31/32
Last franchise would go to one of Nashville, Memphis, Portland, San Antonio/Austin with a lean towards Nashville due to Houston and Dallas covering enough of the San Antonio/Austin area.
Adds: Salt Lake City, Atlanta, Houston, 2nd Toronto team
Drops: Winnipeg (market size), Columbus (could easily swap with SLC but Ohio as a state is overloaded with pro sports and colleges relative to geographic size), Buffalo (2nd team outside of Toronto takes precedent over a team in Buffalo), only 2 teams in New York City area instead of 3
Yes, but can you tweak the map so that nobody in the US and Canada can watch any game due to blackouts?
Put two more teams in Ontario.
(Yes, it would grow the game.)
Consider this post the message smeared in blood on the wall, do not scroll on this comment thread unless you wish to see some of the most abysmal takes in all of the realms
Indianapolis and Windsor are the only two I could see having gotten teams.
No Hartford Whalers, I’m out.
I’m going to resist being a total Canadian knob and just spout off 32 Canadian cities. 😛
What I will say though is that ***it is beyond criminal to have 1 NHL hockey team in Southwestern Ontario.*** You could ***easily easily easily*** have a second team in Toronto proper and another in Mississauga. And probably chip a team into Hamilton and even London if you squint hard enough.
Montreal is also big enough to support 2 teams and I doubt QC is any less viable than many US locales.
I actually don’t think that league growth should be a zero-sum game and that we shouldn’t be forced to subtract to grow. I do think we would need a second league tier and promotion and relegation to support that, but as the league moves beyond 32, it gets a little silly to try to have every team playing one another and ranked against one another anyway. Either you accept promotion and relegation or the likelihood that the league will become highly regionalized in the future. To the point where you might even end up with separate Eastern and Western Leagues that only meet in the playoffs.
Add 8 teams, break the league into 2 tiers of 20 teams with 4 divisions of 10 teams. 5 teams in tier 1, 5 teams in tier 2 with one team promoted and one team relegated within each division every year. 4-up 4-down and you keep the league divisionally balanced. And in the future all new entrant teams join into the lower tier. With the league rebalancing between tiers as the number of teams rise. When you hit 64 teams, repeat the process with a 3rd tier.
You probably have to blow up the draft and bunch of other stuff to make that work, but I think that the dynamism would make the whole league more fun to follow. You also get to punish recalcitrant losers like Arizona and give the Québecs and Hartfords of the world the chance to put their money where their mouth is by starting in a lower tier. And why not shorten the regular season to throw in some FA cup style intra-divisonal play too. Every New Year’s we could be treated to the divisional cups where tier 1 & 2 teams face off against all of their rivals within the same division to keep rivalries stoked even in the case of relegations.
West coast teams can buzz off with their 9pm starts. Sorry.
I would put all of the teams in California in Alaska because hockey doesn’t belong in California
I’d put a franchise in Saskatchewan and call it the Dog River River Dogs.
There’d probably be one in Wisconsin. Whether it’s Milwaukee or Madison, there’d be one.
I’d be sure that Hartford, Quebec City, Salt LakebCity and potentially Houston got teams. It’d be a shitty money pit, but I’d explore NOLA getting a team as well. They’d be called Voodoo.
You have 34 locations in your picture.
Not the damned desert, that’s for sure.
I would create a rule where every player has a mic and must narrate what they’re doing while they do it