Mastodon
@Minnesota Wild

Treating Post-Cousins Anxiety and Sam Darnold Depression with Bailey Ober and a Molotov Cocktail



The Minnesota Vikings look to be replacing the franchise’s best quarterback with a Sam Darnold/Zach Wilson stopgap that will fail to stop the bleeding or fill the gap in our collective heart. Will they at least move up to draft one of the top three quarterbacks, or will they fail to develop one selected later in the draft? There is hope, however, in an overlooked number two starter for the Minnesota Twins, who won a playoff series for the first time in a quarter century, cut payroll, and extended blackouts by running their TV deal back with Bally Sports (of Diamond Sports Group, a subsidiary of the evil Sinclair Broadcast Group). But Byron Buxton and Royce Lewis aren’t hurt yet, and the finally excellent bullpen has yet to be overworked. We also celebrate a successful fire sale by Minnesota Wild GM Bill Guerin at the NHL Trade Deadline. Guerin made room on the roster for one (Marat Khusnutdinov) of two Russian prospects (Danila Yurov) we pray pan out, so when they share the ice with Kirill Kaprizov we can call the line the Molotov Cocktail because they set the ice on fire and their names end in -ov.

Write A Comment