Here are 4 Tips for How to Communicate Assertively. We’ll compare and contrast assertive communication with some other types of communication, we’ll give examples, and tips so you can be at your best. Free Download pdf Essential Communication Skills for Professionals: https://www.alexanderlyon.com/
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The video look as the following:
– Passive communication
– Aggressive communication
– Assertive communication
– Passive-aggressive communication
And, it gives four key tips to communicate more assertively.
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00:00 Introduction
00:25 Assertive Comm vs Others Types
04:06 Assertive Comm Tips
44 Comments
Free Download pdf Essential Communication Skills for Professionals: https://www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources
This is an eye opening for me. Learned a lot how people communicate & why it doesn't work. It all make sense now. It's funny how I thought people would understand me without saying what I truly mean. Lol. Thank you for this valuable information.
Excellent talking points.
I used to use 'You' ALOT not in a malicious way but out of habit. Now i use a lot of I, never take what someone says as what 'he/she' are saying but rather 'what' is being said. Like "So whats being said is…' then if I feel like saying 'you', i'd say instead 'we' to show its not a you and me thing but whats best for the bigger picture, like 'we may want to consider [xyz]' it also encourages feedback vs me just spitting out a command for everyone else to follow.
Using these tips will work with people who are mindful and intelligent enough to hear what I am saying. Sadly, a lot of the people I have to interact with are just ignorant.
Excellent
I'm watching this hoping I'm assertive but no, I'm passive aggressive 😂 thank you for this assertively presented information 🙂 will be working on my communication!
Thank you for this. 🙏 I am passive. I would explode with anger and resentment often. I knew I had a communication issue to work on. That really hit home.
Good video. I would add the following critical points.
1. Try to agree and find some common ground with your opponent. If you disagree with everything said others will hate you.
2. Debate the points and rather than destroy the credibility of your opponent. The only exception is if someone claims to be an expert witness.
3. Try to smile and be pleasant. Have strong data to support your points.
4. Get small admissions from your opponent to lead them to a point when they can no longer refute your point. Like a chess master, think of your points many moves out.
5. If not supportive to your position, rather than directly answering your opponents questions instead make statements to weaken your opponents claims or strengthen yours.
Hi Alex, thank you. When you try to use I language doesnt that feel like I am not able to do something in some scenarios. For example, I am feeling overwhelmed can be sounding like i am incapable !! pls share your thoughts. than you
WOW! What an amazing video tutorial, keep up the good work!
1 Make sure you are calm and under control before starting the conversation
2 Say what needs to be said as directly and respectfully as possible
3 Use " I " language (not "you " language)
4 Be a good listenner
I definitely experienced passive aggressiveness.
Here’s my conundrum. While I have gotten a lot better at arguing, in the past it has been SO easy to shut me down if I tried to assert anything. I’ve noticed people throughout my life who didn’t have any trouble with asserting their needs are good communicators. They also seem to be able to come up with things that would never cross my mind no matter how hard I thought about something. You get beat down all your life or are at a loss for words when it’s most needed just makes it hard to be assertive.
I am definitely an aggressive communicator and i hate it
Mine is the assertive one, thanks for this informative video!
I’m passive aggressive 😊
Great skill 🙂
Mucha gracious gracias senor
The problem with passive / aggressive , aggressive , passive is they need better skills , some training and they would be on the assertive communication ladder. Training and skills in a field of some sort , We have to have way more skills . like a darn good computer skill, or health industry skill or you'll just go in circles the rest of eternity.
This is dead on straight what the general work force is the passive / aggressive. Ive seen the assertive types. You can tell or some people just dont care to note what is going on . Reading and watch self help videos will get you more informed and working in a filed where ample people are employed
Excellent tips. Thank you🙏🏻
Passive
I'm that spoiled one . I'm sorry 😔
I will change my communication . Thank you so much for the video .
Tis a great teaching video. Thanks alot.❤
Oh Gosh, OK… let me make their job hard then. If someone is an idiot I will explain him why, and usually in not very plight way, as Idiots tends to piss you off in a first place. If someone is focusing on how I say it but not what I'm saying – that is a clear sign I'm right and he is an idiot!
In ideal world assertive communication might be the best choice, but when you are surrounded by all kind of freaks it is a real waste of time and nerves to be even remotely plight to those who dont want to see the logic behind the words but focus on who, how and if it is or isn't politically correct.
So I'll make it harder for them staying as aggressive as I can – the sweet here is that in most cases, at the end you prove yourself right and then you can just say: I told you! That makes them ashamed and quiet at least for a while 😀
I understand "I language", but sometimes it is the behavior of the other person that is the issue lol
I agree also that takijg time to reflect on the topic that needs to be breached is useful- however sometimes some issues are time sensitive or require immediate responses.
I'm in a position of leadership and intend to have a more agreeable personality and can struggle with more vocal and demanding personalities- and sometimes it is nessesary to respond quickly.
Passive aggressive is often times the way I speak. Thank you for helping me recognize that.
Great video thanks for your tips !
Hi Dr Lyon. I’m loving your videos, thank for sharing theses valuable skills with us. How can we calmly and assertively respond to verbal attacks ( intentional or unintentional) . I find it difficult to respond in those types of situations, think quickly enough etc. can you recommend a few short phrases that may be helpful as responses when someone is being insulting or critical please? Thanks
This is an excellent video, very informative with great tips, thank you! – Yoel
Naw…sounds like u
If I'm leaving without appreciating this content then I have not changed. Thank you for this video n positive change started within me.
Well, thank you, Alex. After I watch your video, I hope I can do assertive Communicators. Your explanatory is very clear and make sense also easy to apply.
I'm passive.. ughhh
Thanks!
Thank you sir
I really need to learn the I language. Thanks for the insightful package
Would you please recommend books that can help me in assertiveness? Thank you
I’m concerned
6:20 I can’t control what you do I can only control what I do
7:00 I language
You’re giving me too much work
I’m feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work I have
Wat mij opvalt bij het bekijken en luisteren van uw video is dat wanneer u een voorbeeld geeft dat de persoon in kwestie iemand is waarmee u heeft samengewerkt. Wat mij is opgevallen dat wanneer u begint over uw persoonlijke ervaringen u het verhaal begint met een glimlach? Zenuwen, Arrogantie, Overcompensatie. Waar komt dit lachje vandaan?
I used to be passive aggressive communicator without awareness, I intended to avoid and minimise the conflicts. However as I learned from this lesson, if one doesn't let their expression out in an assertive way, the true feeling underneath the behaviour will hardly be seen. I also learned the importance of using "I" language which needs not only lots of self-awareness but practice! Thanks for this precious lesson, it surely helps out people who want to have a communication skill, the most importantly, with the clear and geniune conversation, it helps the world become a more peaceful world.
This is incredibly helpful and to the point! Much appreciated