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Don’t Eat The Cheese: 2024 Fantasy Hockey Forward Busts


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Frank Vatrano (Anaheim Ducks) F27, 31st overall

This ranking is a total joke. Frank Vatrano doesn’t belong in the top 100, let alone 31st. This is what I’m talking about when I say Sean Allen is re re. Vatrano is a nice story but WTF are we doing here? The Ducks winger had 60 points last year, which was a career-high by a mile during his age-29 season. He’s only topped the 40-point total in one other season. There are superstar-level players you’re passing on by taking Vatrano this high. Don’t be that big of a noob.

Carter Verhaeghe (Florida Panthers) F28, 32nd overall

Really like the player. Very underrated. This is just way too damn high. Putting Carter Verhaeghe ahead of Aleksander Barkov is certainly a take. A dumb take. The goals for Verhaeghe will be there but I can’t justify putting him ahead of other superstar players ranked well after.

John Tavares (Toronto Maple Leafs) F32, 36th overall

Old and declining. The best thing he’s got going for him is being part of the Leafs powerplay. Except for the part when you realize he’s being ranked several spots ahead of Mitch Marner. Just 65 points for Tavares last year and is now heading into age 34. Sorry but 65 points isn’t cutting it with this high of a ranking. Frankly, it wouldn’t be overly surprising if Tavares is moved down to the third C eventually. Unless you’re in a league that counts faceoffs, this rankings makes zero sense.

Vincent Trocheck (New York Rangers) F34, 39th overall

I’m a big fan of Vincent Trocheck but there is some serious Rangers bias in the rankings this year. Trocheck is great but this ranking is banana land. Trocheck shouldn’t be ranked higher than Adam Fox and he’s no higher than the third fiddle in the offense behind Zibanejad and Panarin. His 77 points last year were a career high and he’s only had one other season where he cracked 70. Two years ago he was at 51 points. Pump the brakes on this ranking. It’s too rich for my taste.

Chris Kreider (New York Rangers) F35, 41st overall

39 goals last year for Chris Kreider but this is a guy who could fall off at any time. 41st is too risky to pick him here. 75 total points last year and has only one other season where he surpassed 55. Now heading into age 33. You’re buying at the peak. Don’t be this stupid. Maybe Kreider will have another big year but you certainly can’t bank on it. He should go about 50 spots lower than this.

Joel Eriksson Ek (Minnesota Wild) F37, 43rd overall

Better real life player than fantasy player. Two way center that plays the game the right way. Just not sure how that helps you in fantasy. Career high 30 goals and 64 points last year. Even if he repeats those totals, it’s not good enough for 43rd overall. A lot of his value is dependant on skating with Kaprizoz and being on the PP unit. If those things get cut by Ryan Hartman or Marco Rossi, you killed your season with this pick. Don’t fall into the trap.

Jordan Kyrou (St. Louis Blues) F43, 50th overall

Has a lot of finesse. Not sure he’s actually good. 67 points in a fully healthy season last year. That’s just not good enough to go inside the top 50. Especially considering his teammate Robert Thomas is flat out better. Brings zero physicality to the table. Won’t pick up any hits or blocked shots. You’re banking on Kyrou picking up the offense on a mediocre Blues team. Hard to see any real value here.

Jonathan Marchessault (Nashville Predators) F44, 52nd overall

Incredibly dumb ranking here. A career high 42 goals last year for a player that’s never had more than 30 before in any given season. His 69 points last year are his most since 2017 and now enters age 34. Sorry, but you’re on crack if you think life will be easier in Nashville. His center goes from Jack Eichel to Tommy Novak. Good luck repeating that performance!

He shouldn’t go inside the top 100 let alone 52. This contract will look terrible within two seasons.

Fabian Zetterlund (San Jose Sharks) F51, 66th overall

Nazem Kadri (Calgary Flames) F56, 74th overall

Tyler Toffoli (San Jose Sharks) F59, 77th overall

Marco Rossi (Minnesota Wild) F65, 88th overall

Alexis Lafreniere (New York Rangers) F76, 105th overall

Tyson Foerster (Philadelphia Flyers) F80, 111th overall

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