Over the weekend I expressed my opinion about TDA, which received a lot of negative feedback. I’m not upset about that because I don’t expect people to agree with me or blow smoke up my butt. Constructive criticism is valued because that’s how I get better as a writer. The problem here was a lot of mansplaining on Twitter, now X, and one person went as far as sending me a nasty email where he insulted me as both a person and writer. There is a fine line between constructive criticism and direct insults. This article is not me whining about people being mean to me or wanting pity, this is me simply speaking up and speaking out about the challenges of being a woman in a male-dominated industry.
by coffee-everywhere
13 Comments
Yeah TDA fans are weird. Ignore them. One of the main reasons I didn’t want him back.
They also fail to realize he’s legitimately horrible at defense and doesn’t add much to our team.
Still think we need a PP coach more than anyone added to our PP. We already had the talent for top tier scoring.
Was this “mansplaining” directed toward your personal account or the cardiac cane page?
Sometimes you just have to say “fuck em” and move on.
Own your work. Own your takes. Don’t let Twitter be your feedback. You’re never going to change how those folks act online, so just letting speak to a void is almost always the best course of action.
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One tip I can offer to avoid mockery and condescension is to never seriously use “mansplaining” and probably best to avoid it even satirically.
I’ve followed this team since 2000 and have never seen a player who makes people bring their claws out like Tony. His dick riders are diseased.
That’s a shame. Hockey is just a fun game..
Glad you spoke up about it Avery, those morons deserve to be blasted with much harsher words than you used. Kudos for not losing your cool.
Yeah, the bloom came off the rose quickly after I joined this sub. I did not realize what a huge portion of the fanbase were hostile to any kind of analysis or criticism of the team — and that the hostility was usually accompanied by personal insults (never backed by any real thought). Maybe this is true for all NHL team’s fans, but it isn’t true in MLB or the NFL, so I was surprised. I expected at least a little solidarity, since we are all fans of the same team.
This drove me crazy for awhile, mostly because I tried to fight it, which like most things on the Internet, got me nowhere. Now that I just block those people, the sub is a much better place for me to visit.
These are problems you won’t solve, so look past them and keep doing what you are doing, writing about things you love, and seeking improvement each time.
I hope this is taken constructively.
People are shitty. If you’re putting yourself out there, then you need to be ready to ignore the haters because they’ll always be there. You can’t take them personally.
Hi, Ekow Guy here. TDA is divisive and has done stuff in the past that regardless of his recent clean nose made me skeptical of him being here the last season he was and this current season. TDA the player is decent and has proven he is a fit in our system. Lord knows he cannot defend Aho so maybe this best thing for him is to not have to defend Aho lmao. TDA the person is worthy of criticism and skepticism and anyone who is uncomfortable with him being on the team should know their feelings on the matter are valid. Even as someone who has not been directly offended by anything he has done, if not offended in principle, I am not thrilled that this is the solution on defence we have come to. I will continue to cheer for the team on the ice because no single person will make not be insanely fanatical about this team. I will also be monitoring TDA closely. His previous actions have earned him close surveillance in addition to the criticism and skepticism. I do however appreciate that he is staying quiet and keeping said nose clean. I hope that is due to character growth and not simply maintaining a much smarter PR policy.
I don’t know you and haven’t read your work, but FWIW I join you in the uneasiness about re-hiring TDA and the mercenary flavor to the off-season signings in general.
On the other hand eventually you have to recognize that young people say and do stupid stuff and give someone a chance to grow up and prove themselves. I’ve supported businesses that give *convicted felons* a second chance for employment; it seems hypocritical to stay on a high horse about a politically- and socially-malformed young guy who seems to have learned at least to keep his trap shut about non-hockey matters.
There’s also a sports corollary to the old adage to “never meet your heroes”. Despite the illusion, expertly presented by the PR department, that these are all wholesome, lovable kids who all hang out and love each other and adore all the fans and are just glad to be part of the community, they are all humans, with all the adjacent flaws. The life of elite young athletes on the road to the pros is fraught with opportunities to develop character flaws of various sorts, and hockey culture in particular, which these guys were steeped in from a young age, has its special set of issues. The Canes are no exception and while TDA may have been the most publicly-boneheaded it’s unlikely he is actually the worst person in the league or even on the team.
You can build a team of guys who pass a set of purity tests, but it’s not going to be a very good team. You can also build a team of guys who are statistically undervalued specifically because they are problematic in other ways, and they might win but are going to be hard to sell to a small-market fan base that wants to like “their guys” and not just bring home trophies, and are also likely to blow up internally at some point.
The Canes have, in the Rod era, found the right balance to this equation pretty masterfully, with a few speed bumps along the way. On paper they do seem to be skating right to the edge of this balance this year, but I think we have to let it play out a bit before deciding this isn’t “our” Canes anymore.
I am not claiming a 100% association, but I do find it interesting that said mansplaining arose from a discussion about DeAngelo’s return to the team.
Merited or not, I find the publishing of piece like this just odd on a sports blog. Obviously they give you a channel to produce content as you see fit, just odd and a bit unprofessional. Don’t mean that disrespectfully at all I swear.
Just part of life, some people suck, keep trucking and let them look dumb. Don’t do anything to dampen your future in response. This rebuttal is giving them light and highlighting a chasm between you and readers of certain beliefs. Right or wrong clicks are still clicks and in a hockey blog you shouldn’t alienate readers unless they are Caps fans.
All devils advocate thoughts genuinely meant constructively.